yesterday

i am sure that there are a number of blog posts out there somewhere devoted to thoughts on childhood. thoughts about days gone by. thoughts about the “good ol’ days.”

i certainly understand that sentiment. childhood, and the memory of childhood is so often gazed at through a clouded lens – as though it is viewed from the wrong end of telescope. far off. distant. a hazy mirage on the horizon of memory. you may have home videos that you watch. and old photographs that sit as stories in a shoebox under your bed. but, as with many stages of life, we simply want to skip one just to get to another. as a child, all you wanted was to be a grown up. and now, all you want is for childhood-esque tragedies to return. where the worst thing that happens in your day is that your favorite color crayon breaks into pieces. those simple days. am i correct?

perhaps there are certain things in your life that evoke certain responses and feelings. smells. sights. sounds. places. people. tickling your mind and emotions with a sense of childlike happiness. excitement. giddiness. and perhaps, even fear and anger. but, you are an adult now. and you must behave like an adult. and live in a world where being a grown up is all about looking towards the future. and planning for what comes next.

days have past. years have been written, and the pages have been forever turned. you can not change the ever. ticking. flow. of. time. it is irreversible.

but do not forget. in the videos you see – in the photographs of your “days gone by” – you are still that child. who you were when your favorite crayon broke, is still who you are. right now. remember. when you feel that childlike sense of awe looking at the christmas tree, when the taste of your mother’s homemade cookies gives you the familiar feeling of being hugged from the inside out, that you are still that child. while photographs of your former self may seem as though you are looking at another person altogether. abstract and distant from who you are today, i beg of you to let the realization wash over you, that the child in the home video is you. you. are. that. child. and that there is a part of you that will always be that child.

my mother gave me the sage advice of never forgetting the child you were. and of taking care of that inner child now.

so stop.

remember.

nurture your inner child.

wear a mis-matching outfit.

run around in your bare feet.

sing your favorite songs.

write a letter to a dear friend in crayon.

and go enjoy a chocolate chip cookie – a hug, from the inside, out.

who i was. and who i very much still am.

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